Sunday, November 06, 2011
- Maybe the only difference between times you were confident with your spiritual attunement and now is your attitude? Right now you wonder if it’s a prompting, but before you’d just go with it?
Wednesday, November 09, 2011
- “It's kind of a weird world we live in, where being anti almost anything is a horrible taboo, but being anti-religion is so acceptable it's almost popular.” – Micah
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
- “I respect "I don't know" far more than a made-up answer. The former represents honesty, the latter...cowardice” – A tweet I saw
Thursday, November 24, 2011
- I tend to code with the expectation my code shouldn’t get any longer for some reason. I like to keep it as small as possible… But really you generally can’t add a new feature without adding new classes/methods/variables…
Friday, November 25, 2011
- So I went on a date tonight with a friend I haven’t seen in like a year or more. When we came out of California Pizza kitchen we found some douche with a rich car had parked on the lines on the handicap space next to my van, so I had to have my date back my van up so I could get in. I guess I didn’t explain it very well, because she put in the brake, put it in reverse, let it idle out, and then tried putting it back in park without braking. Needless to say, that didn’t work. However, the moment where I’m yelling “forward! Push the lever forward!” the van made impact, came to a sudden stop, and I see my date fly backwards in my van was absolutely priceless. The look on her face when she got back up was equally so. Luckily there was a pole right behind the parking space, so we didn’t hit a car. And the pole had a big cement square around it, so it was mostly just tire impact. Could have been a few thousand dollars worse, rather than just a good story. Ahhh…
Sunday, November 27, 2011
- Talking to someone during a decision making period is almost more interesting than the actual decision...
- An alarm clock app that makes you do simple math in order to stop/snooze the alarm? BRILLLIANT!
Monday, November 28, 2011
- Memo to self, don’t bite the nail you used an hour ago to poke around in your ear. Regrets follow.
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
- I like the way this scripture is phrase, Helaman 4:23 “…and the judgments of
God did stare them in the face.” In the FACE! haha.
Sunday, December 04, 2011
- Ok, so a lot of these next few random thoughts I had any time over the last while. I wrote them in my phone to transfer here later. It’s now later.
- I saw a pic of a paper taped up in a bathroom that said “Warning: objects in mirror may be distorted be societal standards of ‘beauty’.” SO dead on! Definitely a sign in a girls bathroom. I find that girls tend to believe the grungiest version of themselves is what they “really look like” but the most beautiful read-for-church version of other girls is what those girls “really look like”, and when comparing the two they always feel not good enough. It makes me sad. It also makes me glad I’m a guy haha.
- For being someone who genuinely wants to make sure everyone feels comfortable, I am really bad at making people who are particularly different from me feel comfortable. I mean, I was the home teacher of a girl 19 year old girl who had a 4 year old and was just starting to get away from drugs. And I could get her to come to the activities, but if it was just the two of us talking I don’t feel like I made her feel like she had a friend in me. Someone she could trust yes, but not someone she could hang out with. I was very grateful for other ward members who did fill the role as friend when she’d show up. But I still feel a little bad I don’t seem to be able to be friends with everyone. If there’s nothing in common I just don’t know how to make the interaction enjoyable :/
- I need to find ways to serve. I feel I have a self sustaining testimony, but I should pray for a testimony strong enough to share.
- I’ve found my over the top flirtation is not always a good tactic for confident girls. I mean, I mean my over the top as a joke. My favorite reaction is when I give this ridiculously over exaggerated compliment and the girl calls me a dork or something haha. With non-confident girls the flattery works even if they now it’s cheesy. If it’s a confident girl that doesn’t recognize it as a joke though, it seems a big turn off for them, it makes me look desperate methinks. Oops.
- “Whether you get a goose egg or golden egg depends on the chick you choose.”
- I seem to think I need to respond to super enthusiastic girls with as much enthusiasm as they show me. Why? Is it possible I could have a great relationship with a girl who likes to jump around and “just dance” even if I don’t like too? Generally I assume “a girl like that wants someone to bounce around with them, and I’m not like that, thus she’d be dissatisfied with me”. Anyone who knows me knows I can be hyper and wild, but the dance party style wild is just awkward for me haha. Even pre-chair, I never enjoyed it :/
- So I did almost nothing yesterday. Just video games with Josh and Micah, then CJ then CJ Mason Bryan haha. It’s funny though because when I was going to quit at 6ish CJ came out and was like “I finished my homework! I get to play!” and it’s like I felt obligated to play with him (even if watching. It makes the game more fun for both people). I didn’t notice until the end of the day that I felt that way though, because I wanted to join anyway haha. I had the thought though. If Jason had come back right as I was getting off, and wanted me to play with him, and he had been productive all day, I probably would have shrugged him off and did what I felt anyway haha.
- Went on a date with an amazing driven smart beautiful but 18 year old girl Friday haha. I met her because I was asked to speak in an institute class by a lady in my family ward. The girl I ended up taking out struck me as super cute there, and I didn’t get her number on the way out. But the next day I called my institute teacher and asked what the girls name was and if I could have her number haha. I’m not sure I’ve ever been so bold. Thinking about asking her out just didn’t make me as nervous as asking girls out usually makes me though. She’s a perfect example of the super enthusiastic personality I described above, so my knee jerk assumption is it’s not a high dating probability. My only counter evidence is how not worried I felt about asking her out…
But anyway the real point of this post is in talking to her, and seeing how motivated she is and such and what she’s doing, and then trying to answer questions about what I’m doing, reminded me how stagnant I am. More importantly how I’ve been playing small. I mean, I am content now at my current level of stagnant (which is dangerous :P) but I finally admitted to myself that night that there are all sorts of goals I’m unwilling to make because I think I know much trouble it will be with my limitations. For all my talk of moving forward with faith, it seems I’ve really selected a small amount of categories I’m willing to wade into without guaranteed success chances (Ie: dating) but there are many I don’t want to do because I think I’ve got it all figured out and so I don’t want to act unless I can set up the perfect circumstances (Ie: moving out.) I need to sit down and think, “what goals if nothing held you back?” and then find ways to make them work anyway. Like a road trip, or moving out. Lol even thinking about these now, the problem for me is that the solution to these things is just imposing on people, and I don’t like to impose if I don’t have to. Either way, I’ve become more complacent in my chair the more I think I’ve got it figured out, and I should shift back into “I can do anything I put my mind to”. Well, I mean I still believe that, it’s just there seems to be a growing set of stuff I believe I can do if I wanted, but the effort doesn’t seem worth the gain. So I don’t know exactly what should shift, I just feel like something should.
- Temple miles! I didn’t post these the last time it looks like, so these are all the weeks since July 28 haha. I’ve still gone every week by the way. I think twice I was sick and only spent 90 mins studying in the parking lot rather than going IN the temple. But that still counts as going to the temple that week in my book. Anyway 332.2, 594.2, 961.3, 202.1, 574.9, 455.5, 435.3, 402.2 (made it due to date bail!), 614.2, 520.7, 474.1, 448.3, 479.2, 611.9, 516.7, 245.3, and 255.9. (note I text myself this number, and then pull them off my archived text history in Gmail, but it’s got the dates too if I ever want them…)
