Random Thoughts 16 (4/17/2011)

Monday, March 28, 2011

- "I'm finding that bravery is measured by faith" The sound of grace – the workday release

- I feel a bit of anxiety for people who keep droning on a long story during their testimony after testimony meeting should have ended, and it’s really pointless. Why? Do I want to protect them or something?

- I love the sun. If I was locked in solitary confinement it wouldn’t matter how they fed me, I’d die due to lack of sun. And I realized something I like about spring! I can sit in the sun indefinitely without overheating. I LOVE the feel of the sun on my skin.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

- “A wise man trades that which he cannot keep for that which he cannot lose.”

- I suspect people don’t realize doing the dishes is a daily task.

- Sunday night Marie came and played Bang with Steph and Grant, and 2 of their friends. Me and Marie acted like a couple fairly naturally I’d say haha. There was even one point where I teased her and she started coming in to kiss me but stopped when she realized what she was doing, and it was SO funny! No kissing still though :P

- So, I was cleaning up my desktop, and I started dragging icons around to fill in the gaps, and randomly I grabbed the scriptures and dragged them to fill a hole on the top of the screen, and my brain went “wait, the top? I someone looks at your desktop the top is likely the first thing they’ll see. Do you want to look like some super Mormon?” and I paused and was like, “yep, yep I do.” And there it resides.

- So I just got out of institute, so maybe I’m in a ‘over-zealous’ state, but for some reason my thoughts turned to Neal. I don’t know the thoughts of his heart, but from my observations, Neal is one step from being the guy he was in high school. He doesn’t take school seriously and he doesn’t care (although he’s trying to sign up for classes), he doesn’t keep the Sabbath day holy, he watches rated R movies like they’re any other movie, he doesn’t have a calling, and to my knowledge he doesn’t say his prayers or read his scriptures. The only outward action I see him doing is going to church, which is good. But he often leaves portions of it for food. I know him and Andrew are crazy work out nuts and they get so hungry it’s ridiculous, but 3 hours? Eat before and after? Maybe move the meal schedule around just a little on Sundays so that it works? It just seems funny to me. Every time I start giving Neal crap about my perceived lack of effort on his part he points out ways he’s doing better than I’m giving him credit, so it’s likely I’m being too harsh, but it’s just the feeling I keep getting. I’ve been trying to prod him on occasion for a few months, but the rated R movie thing I’d say is like a last two weeks thing. From my possibly over-zealous over-harsh perspective that seems like a step backwards still, but who am I to say? I just hope he finds something or someone who makes him want to be the guy he was when he was in the elders quorum presidency again. He talks about how happy he was with that many callings and serving people and what not still, I don’t understand why he doesn’t see himself drifting further and further from that guy. The phrased “lulled into carnal security” comes to mind. Apparently the way I’ve tried to call him out doesn’t help though, I’m not the guy for the job. Maybe Andrew?...

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

- I seem to have a really powerful sense of chivalry, at least in regards to paying for a woman’s meal. Even when not on official dates, or in group settings, I tend to pay for one of the girls meals. Eating a meal with a girl or more and not paying for one just feels weird to me. And I quickly (possibly inaccurately, but hey) judge a guy who takes a girl on a date and expects her to pay for herself as a douchebag. But it made me wonder, what instilled this so strongly in me? I can think of events, or just powerful memories tied to various other values I hold dear, but I can’t even remember a specific conversation where I was told the guy always pays. *shrug*

- So the lock mechanism under the steering wheel decided to not release as I was waiting to pick up a date (Jessica Martin). I sat here with the car on for 15 minutes (she’s running late) and then tried again and it freed me. I’m writing this from inside, she hasn’t come out yet. I hope it works though, this night could become adventurous J.

Thursday, March 31, 2011

-So follow up to yesterday’s post. First of all the lock mechanism worked and that was fine, so muhdunno… second, at my institute class (which was what I was doing immediately before meeting up with Jessica) there’s some cute girls I’ve been trying slightly to spend time with, the last few weeks I offered to drive them home because I know they take the bus. This week I didn’t offer but they ran up to my car and asked for one and I was like ”for sure!” we’d even got out of institute early so it wouldn’t make me late. And I told them I had a date and one of them recommended I take her to this Thai place, but I was pretty sure I didn’t like Thai food. However, I wasn’t terribly hungry, so I was willing to be adventurous with food preferences, so when I got Jessica in the car I was like “are there any weird types of food you like?” and she says “I dunno, not really, just Thai.” Perfect! Turns out I loved the food. Then we discussed her boy problems the rest of the night, I got to see new sides of her it was fun.

- Design meeting at work! So I have a task to create two forms that allows our users to make and send email and text templates. I made mock design wiki page examples and labeled them and stuff, and then we have a design meeting to go over what I had planned and either change/approve it. I was pretty nervous because since I wrote it and I was going to code it I felt like I’d be the center of attention/decision making etc… but! It was me, and the PM(project manager) and a chief architect, and my team lead, and a QA lead, and it ended up just being one big collaborative creative process which in my opinion was SO fun! Just bouncing ideas like “what’s the difference between cancel all and close? Do we need both? This button makes more sense next to here then there. When they click save which name does it save? Should it be case sensitive?” etc. and everyone had equal voice/sway and everyone offered positive and negative feedback… it was just fun brainstorming. Nerdy yes, but I love my job, and I love the people at this company.

Sunday, April 03, 2011

- It’s so awesome to watch my family in action, even in little things like making breakfast or taking care of the grand kids. I warn Dad that baby Drew’s unhappy, Dad brings Drew to the floor, Mason notices Drew ate a lego, Cj gets it out and distracts Drew while Ryan gets bigger toys for Drew to play with until Angie puts him to bed. Everyone was only inconvenienced for a short minute, but Drew got full time care, it’s cool haha. Also, babies take lots of attention :P

- “The Final Judgment is not just an evaluation of a sum total of good and evil acts—what we have done. It is an acknowledgment of the final effect of our acts and thoughts—what we have become. It is not enough for anyone just to go through the motions. The commandments, ordinances, and covenants of the gospel are not a list of deposits required to be made in some heavenly account. The gospel of Jesus Christ is a plan that shows us how to become what our Heavenly Father desires us to become.” – Dallin H. Oaks. (Quoted by Todd Christofferson Sunday afternoon session)

Tuesday, April 05, 2011

- Yesterday was a grumpy day for some reason, I ended up going home and playing video games with the guys to ride it out, it worked J. Given the opportunity to break some of the standards I’d set for myself though I would have broke yesterday haha. But DIDN’T!

- I think part of my grumpiness might have been reality sinking in after a conversation with Kalia. Note I was blah before, but I decided to ask her what she thinks about me and Marie dating, and if me and Marie can/should kiss. She pretty much echoed all my own feelings on the matter, that of we get along great and spending time together is totally healthy, but we’re probably not eternal companions for as of yet unknown reasons. And that kissing is probably not the greatest idea if we know the relationship is unlikely to progress further. Getting someone else who had the same opinion was enough for me to really acknowledge the reality of it rather than just think about it as a possibility. Still in the dating game! Lame :P.

Wednesday, April 06, 2011

- Today was a crappy day. Not in a metaphorical “everything went wrong” way, but in a more literal “I crapped my pants and sat in it for 6 hours” way. Besides that it was just normal :P.

- it's more fun writing things when you know people read it... and I write down what to me are interesting thoughts so I'm always interested in peoples thoughts on my thoughts. So I can think thoughts about their thoughts on my thoughts.

Friday, April 08, 2011

- So Mike parks in handicap when he gets me up in the morning. And for two weeks I’ve given him crap when I caught him. I hate it when people park in handicap just because they can get away with it, it’s affected my ability to find the ramp space I need many times. I thought about calling the tow company and tipping them off to when he’d be there but I decided that’d be a jerk thing to do. Especially given how broke Mike is. BUT! This morning he got towed anyway! And I didn’t orchestrate it! I even took him to the impound lot and tried to help him talk his way out of it since he was taking care of a handicap person, but they wouldn’t have it… so I feel bad it’s costing him $150. But he knows it was his fault and I even warned him repetitively. I got to feel vindicated without being a jerk!

- I need to start taking my work a bit more seriously. There ARE deadlines and they DO matter.

Monday, April 11, 2011

- Today has been GREAT! No event to make it so, I just feel great. I think it’s because I went to bed at 10. Why must a good sleep schedule be so helpful? I like staying up too… *whimper*

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

- Had an inconclusive but amazing DTRish chat with Marie right before institute. Our relationship is amazing, but what we’re supposed to do with it is amazingly unclear.

- It’s weird turning on my laptop and finding out it’s the first time in days.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

- Methinks I'm a bit sick with a fever. IBProfin is magic though, and! I'm warm enough that for the first time EVER I took off my jacket at work. Crazy right? (post note, I ended up running a fever of 102 that day).

- Since I'm sure you're curious, I'd like you to know that my health today was about as stable as Spring weather in Utah. Thank you and good night.

Friday, April 15, 2011

- “Hell is when the person you are meets the person you could have been.”

Sunday, April 17, 2011

- Amazing Marieekend with Marie. Shopped for smart phones (finally…) lived at home for the week due to my sickness (which lasted 2.5ish days). Probably moving home this week. I love my job. End.