Random Thoughts 14

Wednesday, February 09, 2011

- So there was this gorgeous girl who came to my Wednesday night institute class for the first time, and she made a bunch of deep comments, double attractive. I SOO wanted to get her number! But I wussed out! I still don’t know how to even do that, how do you approach someone first time? Sometimes it’s just natural (see how I got Sadie’s number in the last post) and sometimes I just watch them leave....

- I frequently imagine verbally putting people in their place, explaining to Jason why people don’t choose to be around him, chewing out Neal for how over the top his humor gets sometimes, calling out a girl when I can tell she’s giving me excuses rather than being honest, etc. Is that bad? Haha.

- I also imagine talking to celebs, any celeb really, I’d be so interested to get their take on life. I’m always so interested to get everyone’s take on life, but it just seems like a really really big celeb would have a particularly unique take on life, and I’m curious! Maybe it’s not so different, maybe it is, I’ll likely never know though :P.

- All the stuff Dr. K. told me about business is totally true (which is good, because I believed him the whole time, but still, it’s cool to get your own ‘personal witness’ of what you ‘know’ haha) specifically, hardly anything gets done at a technical job between 9-5. Meetings and interruptions abound. 4 hits and people start going home and productivity for my team ramps up in a hurry. I wish I could come in from 11-7 instead or something, but we have daily scrum meetings (team meetings) at 9:30 every day. I could come from 9-7 technically but I’m not feeling THAT noble… as I get to where I feel like I’m productive and contributing on my own though I think it’ll be no big deal to take a 2-3 hour break mid day and have lunch excursions with my friends like I used to, and then stay later at the office during productive hours. I was so blessed to get this job, thank you!

Friday, February 11, 2011

- Also, dozing at work makes me feel way worse than dozing at school. I don’t feel like I’m earning what they’re paying me yet, so I don’t feel like I having a right to doze haha. This is all ok though because #1 I don’t doze that much, and #2 businesses plan 3 months to get technical employees up to speed, and this is week 2. So it’s expected I’d fell this way, but still. I’m so excited to start development next week, something that I can work on constantly without having to wait for some other team to change something, or waiting for my manager to assign me something to do. I’ll have stuff to do, thus I’ll be able to contribute J. Also, “it’s too late to ‘pologize!!” … That had nothing to do with anything, I’m listening to OneRepublic is all…

Saturday, February 12, 2011

-The trade off for less homework stress is less purpose. It’s super weird at 10 thinking “I have work in the morning! What do I need to finish before then? Oh, right. Nothing. Weird.” It’s not terrible though just different. I think it’ll help when I start development as mentioned above. (these first two weeks have just been bug fixes)

Sunday, February 13, 2011

- So it hit me this week that I can’t make my apartment a social environment by myself. That seems obvious, but I think I was kind of operating with a “well, if I can find a way to get people over, it’ll work out from there” mentality. But no, if Neal and Andrew aren’t on board, they’ll just clam up, I’ve seen it. They’re in total denial about the effect their amount of chauvinistic/perverted humor has on their ability to socialize with women. They talk like they’ll make an effort, but haven’t followed through without much prodding yet. At least they seem to want to make an effort, maybe with enough failures they’ll get sick of failing and make changes that lead to success.

I know one for me is less WoW. Once I get on WoW, all real life social drive vanishes. It’s easily justified by the fact I’m socializing with my room mates or people online through the game, but that’s not enough for me. I haven’t been consciously living by my WoW contract, although I’ve been keeping it somehow anyway. Still, I decided to go on a ‘WoW fast’ last week, and you know what? It was great. For ‘some strange reason’ I was just more motivated and outgoing and HAPPY. Weird. My plan now is to have one and ONLY ONE WoW day a week, probably Wednesday or Thursday because Jason doesn’t have work. That way I can still play, which I genuinely enjoy, and I can still have that one thing in common with my room mates, but the game won’t sneakily devour my life, motivation, and happiness. If even the one day rule leaves me feeling blah WoW just gets to go. But I’m pretty confident this will be good. I’ve felt good about bad decisions before though haha.

- So, I’ve complained about Jason a lot, I probably refer to him by name more than any other person on my blog huh? Well, since I live with him I see him a lot, and much of his motivations are still an anomaly to me. I mean, I have assumptions about why or how he thinks, and I rant about them periodically, but I’m not 100% sure by any means of my accuracy. All the same, it’s how I perceive it.

Anyway, so Jason always says stuff like “I’ll kill you Corby!! You will die!” when he’s losing an argument, or when he has nothing to say at all, or for various other reasons honestly. The other night we were all playing WoW (surprise!) and Neal was winning some verbal banter with Jason, and then there was a pause, and right when Jason would usually say “you will die Neal!!” Neal said, in a deep ridiculous voice, “you will die Jason!!” and it was hilarious. Neal kept saying it throughout the night, and a few times since, and it’s still funny every time (and not perverted! Well done Neal.) but here’s the interesting part, Jason stopped saying it!!! It’s not like he didn’t realize it was dumb before, we’d expressed that many times (well, Jason has a lot of pride. It’s possible that just because we were telling him what to do he clammed up and didn’t actually register what we were saying. I’m so glad I don’t mind being told what I’m doing wrong, I even enjoy it honestly). My current theory is Jason really internalize “oh, that is annoying” when Neal mocked him with it. I wonder if saying ridiculous things Jason says to him in a circumstance he would usually say it will make him realize how dumb some of the things are? Although in all honesty nothing specific comes to mind at this moment. I feel bad that we often brainstorm ways to manipulate Jason into being someone we want him to be. But he just wants to genuinely be appreciated by those around him (everyone does) and we’re just trying to help him be someone we enjoy being around haha. He really has progressed a lot.

- I just realized my random thoughts posts, which used to be designed to only be short blurbs, are now more like journal entries. Sorry. It’s more for me than it is for you anyway though, so deal with it.

- So I got the number of this gorgeous awesome girl on Saturday. I actually left without getting her number, but then I got in the car and was like “duh! What do I have to lose?” so I went back, but she was gone!! So I uh… got her number from her fellow employees haha. She seems amazing. I was with Steph (I love Steph, good things happen with her) while she was getting her hair cut by Bethany (the awesome girl). The three of us chatted the whole time, way fun, one thing that came up is how I hate when people assume I’m mentally handicapped, and they call me ‘buddy’ ugh! However! I totally did basically the same thing. Bethany has tattoos on her forearms, so I assumed she wasn’t LDS L turns out she totally is, I hope I get to see her soon J. It sucks realizing you we’re being a hypocrite though haha.

Random Thoughts 13

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

- So I spoke for some 8-10 year old cub scouts today, and it wasn’t my best. I prayed a bunch and practiced out loud in the car on the way there, and it went good enough I guess, the leaders loved it anyway. I thought my message worked for most any age, and it might still. However my humor style works better on probably 13+ or so. I decided the majority of my humor is either implied (and too young don’t get the implication) or shock value. Like, saying something people didn’t expect, (that’s so random!) but if they’re too young they don’t really have an expectation of people yet, thus no shock. Interesting.

- I had a terrible realization! My 9-5 job will probably mean the death of lunch dates, FOREVER! Sad story! I’ll be ok though J.

Thursday, January 27, 2011

- Way funny status post by Drew Strunk, “I found a new game. Drive around looking for people with their windows down in the middle of winter. Look inside the car for anyone that doesn't look pissed off. That person just farted.”

- “You will probably find, in life, that successes and victories tend to overshadow the risks you took, while failure will amplify how idiotic they were." – Codex Alera book 2

Monday, January 31, 2011

- What an amazing weekend! I have just felt more inclined to do the hard thing, like go to a movie night even though I don’t feel social rather than play WoW with the guys. And I feel like I’ve totally been rewarded for it. No I didn’t meet any girls I think will have dating potential, but I do think I got contact information of girls that will help our apartment become a social place again.

- Oh, I got asked to give a talk on humility on the 27th, I’m kind of excited about it. It’s kind of funny, there’s a cute girl named Sadie that I ran into on the way home from church, and she told me she’s giving a talk on humility the same day, so I was like “oh! See we need to exchange contact information so we can meet for lunch and make sure our talks don’t overlap huh? That’s the point you were getting at?” and she says “of course!” and dared me to text her later. Way blunt of me haha. If I approach it with the right energy people reciprocate wonderfully. If I approach it from a nervous energy people are nervous to reciprocate.

- I had a great breakthrough while talking to Steph on Friday. She was like, “Corby, can I be blunt with you?” and I said “always” “I’ve never thought of you as someone with low self-confidence, but lately you kinda are.” It was perfect, I actually told her I’d thought of this myself lately, in fact I think 1 or 2 posts ago I mentioned it. But I don’t think I had really accepted that as fact, more just thrown it out there as theory. But when Steph mentioned it to, I was like “holy crap, yeah it’s true! And I don’t like that! Dagnabbit I’m going to change it!” which is also why my weekend was amazing. On the way to the car to meet up with Steph that afternoon two gorgeous girls from my ward, Ashley and Tera, came out the door and started talking to me all friendly. I’m ashamed to say this but my primary feeling at the time was “these girls are beautiful and popular, why are they talking to me?” I was kind of weirded out. But on Sunday we had a combined meeting, and I pulled up next to Ashley on an edge and was like “Ashley! Can we be friends today?” and she says “of course!” and we talked a bunch before it started, and I made her laugh a good few times during, it was fun, she was way cool (and has a boyfriend, but still, fun). The funny thing is, nothing changed, there was no big thing I did that might make Ashley more receptive to talking to me. I just changed, and I’m so happy about it, and I sure hope I can keep it up again.

- Had an amazing conversation with Amelia today, got some real closure to the whole “everything seemed great and then suddenly she had a boyfriend” situation.

- Today is probably my last day as a non-working class citizen for many years to come. Goodbye previous life!

- I left the apt without a scarf today and now I feel naked.

- Lunch with Kjersti! And got verbal confirmation of non-romantic interest finally. Closure x2 today!

Saturday, February 05, 2011

-It often hurts figuring out where you are on someone’s priority list. (fun fact, this comment has nothing to do with the above comment!)

Sunday, February 06, 2011

- How accurately do you think you can deduce someone’s priorities by their actions?